Climate Crisis

After viewing An Inconvenient Truth, the documentary about Al Gore and his incredible slideshow presentation, I became more aware of the environment. I've always been aware: my mother is a "hippie" (though reality says she's a rich aging suburbanite), and we've always been into recycling, clean water, clean air, etc. However, this film can really change the way you see the climate around you. It is also good ammunition for those who don't believe in global warming. Imagine, there are no scientists that claim that global warming doesn't exist. However, the media continually portrays global warming as if it is some pseudo-science that lacks evidence. I just saw this article and it is kind of freaky. An entire ice island, about 25 sq. miles, "broke" off from the Canadian artic ice shelf.

Twice the Avatars

Ji-in's blog keeps me entertained daily. She found the avatars at Yahoo and I just had to see for myself what you could do with them. Here are my results:

Great Wall of Chinese Adoption Rules

Oh no. Here we go, again. The Chinese, those crafty asians, are making adopting harder for foreigners (aka Americans). Read article here. That's right, the new policy limits people who are single, fat, old, handicapped, mentally unstable (most of America), or any combination of these (that would be a lot of us). So here are the qualifiers: Old - No one over 50! This is real bad. Real Bad! Every 7.6 seconds (oops, there goes another one), a baby boomer turns 50. In the past 100 years, the life expectancy has increased by 30 years. This means the new retirement age keeps increasing, and the new 50 is more like 70. This is one qualifier I don't really agree with. BMI over 40 - I am 6' tall and weigh about 175 lbs. I have a BMI of 24. For me to have a BMI of 40, I need to weigh 295. That's me, plus Didi. In 2003 - 2004, nearly 31% of men and 33% of women were considered seriously obese. Another interesting aspect of this qualifier to adopt, is that it is linked with money. People who make $60,000 or more per year were 26.8% likely to be obese. HS Diploma - With only 70% of Americans earning HS diplomas, this automatically eliminates 30% of our population from adopting. Interesting enough, here are some people who make a ton of money, but didn't earn a HS diploma: Scientologists who didn't earn a HS diploma Tom Cruise John Travolta Beck People who we wouldn't want adopting anyway who also didn't earn a HS diploma Kurt Cobain (cause he's dead) Eminem Paris Hilton Demi Moore Keanu Reeves (duuuuuuude) Cher and way too many others to name Net Worth of $80,000 and household income of $10,000 per person (including adopted child) - This is an interesting qualifier. I'm assuming that the reason is to allow people to effectively pay for the needs an adoptive child might have. However, if you look at the minimum requirements of household income, more than 80% of American households earn more than the $10,000 benchmark China has set. However, less than half (48%) actually knew what their networth was. That means, a lot of these rich incomes could be offset by credit card debts and household payments. No family member can be taking anxiety or depression medication - With more than 19 million people suffering from depression in America (why aren't we happy?), and North America accounting for 75% of the world's consumption of anti-depressants, it's no wonder that many of these potential families will be rejected. And finally, Single Person Household - Poor Gina on Sesame Street. No wonder she went to Guatemala, what with their easier adoption practices and pay-to-play policy. She must've been rejected by China! In the last Census report (2000, that I could find) 4.2% of all households were single-father households, and 19.7% were single-mother households. So, as my friend "K" emailed me today and suggested, do you think we could apply some of these qualifications to people having children in America? I mean, perhaps we could add IQ requirements and traffic violations. Those two things seem to go hand in hand here in South Florida.

Fantastic Asian Fun

I'm not exactly sure who wrote this, but the website is really lame. Either way, people call it the 'Chinese Christmas' because, well...they're racist? I don't know. Either way, the concept is pretty stupid. One of the most fun ideas for a Christmas gift exchange at an office party or at a home party is a game commonly called Chinese Christmas. I don’t know how or where the name came from, because it has absolutely nothing to do with the Chinese. Not only that, many people find the reference to Chinese downright insulting. Because of that, I’m encouraging the use of other lesser-known names such as Yankee Swap, Gift War, Grinch Exchange, Dirty Santa, Rob Your Neighbor, White Elephant, Nasty Christmas, and Thieving Secret Santa. My personal favorite is Grinch Exchange. I left “Chinese Christmas” in the title of the article because that’s how people search for it. But please select a different name to use when you play this game… and encourage others to do the same. How the game is played… The game is fun, because each person gets to select a wrapped gift, unwrap it and then possibly lose it to someone else and have to select again. Being able to select from unwrapped gifts or “steal” a gift someone is holding is what makes this game so much fun. Here are the rules: When planning the party, decide how much should be spent on the gifts. Twenty to thirty dollars is usually an agreeable price since each person is buying only one gift. The amount can be more or less. It’s your group’s call. All gifts should be wrapped (and may I suggest you make yours look extra special). Put the gifts together under the tree, on a table, wherever convenient. Each person selects a number from a basket or bowl to determine the order in which a person gets to select a gift. Number 1 goes first and gets to select and unwrap a gift. Everyone oohs and aahs or mentally thinks, “Boy, I’m glad I didn’t select that.” Number 2 then selects. But she may take Number 1’s gift or she may select a gift from the pile. If she takes Number 1’s gift, Number 1 gets to select again from the pile. After she has finished her turn, Number 3 gets to select. Once again, she may select any opened or unopened gift. Each time a gift is taken away from someone, that person gets to select again. She may select any gift except the one that was just taken away from her. She may however, have the opportunity to select it again later. Some gifts are occasionally more popular and may get stolen several times. The fourth person to possess it gets to keep it. No more swiping the gift. The gift is frozen. At the end of the game, Number 1 gets to select again, and take someone else’s gift if she wants to, but she doesn’t have to. She is actually forcing a trade. The only gifts she can’t take are those that are frozen. Don’t be afraid to swipe a gift from someone. The more takeaways and turnovers there are, the more fun the game seems to be. Some of the best times have been when a particular gift gets swiped several times. There are always lots of laughs and sometimes gifts get swiped just for the fun of it. This is especially true when men are playing. They don’t seem to care about the gifts as much as having fun stirring things up. And after the game is over, if you and someone else wants to trade gifts, that’s O.K. too.

American Education Sucks Life Out of Family Values

Early Education Overseas Can Destroy Families: Program The number of Korean parents sending young children abroad to study is growing as competition for places at university remains cut-throat. Between March 2005 and February this year a total of 20,400 children left Korea for early education. But this is not always good enough to meet parents expectations, and it can destroy families. Now, an SBS-Documentary takes a look at it on the “Curious About It” program titled “Families Opt for the Early Education Overseas that Can Tear Them Apart.” In the case of some families on the show, the exorbitant cost of sending their child abroad sent the household debt spiraling and left indelible scars on the parents and children. Parents think that they are doing their best by supporting their children financially and sending them abroad, but children often think they are being sent away for being problem children. “The time for going all-in just for a foreign language is past,” the producers say. “To bring up a child of worldly talent, study abroad may be a good choice, but we mustn’t forget that being there for your child is also a great way to raise your kid.” (englishnews@chosun.com ) Updated Dec.11,2006 12:18 KST

Yul Kwon Won

Now, I know I won't be the first. But I was seriously excited to see my boy Yul pull off the win. Not only did he win, he's also working to make bone-marrow donations a priority among minorities (I'm thinking about Julia) and also to pay honor (think hanbok and really, really low bowing) to his parents. What a good Korean boy. Plus, he's super smart (as noted by his ridiculously nice credentials) and he's super sexy (as noted by his ridiculously nice abs). Read about it here.

Forever Families

Hallelujah! The final shot shows off the beautiful people of Matthews. One, big, happy and loving family. I am not a fan of Oprah. There is something about her insistence on presenting herself in pricey clothes on the cover of every issue of her own magazine, which features articles about how great Oprah is, and how wonderful life would be if we all followed Oprah's advice, that rubs me the wrong way. For example, she once said, "I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes." Well thank god for that! I also, as a writer and teacher, get highly annoyed at her sense of "discovery" when she recommends a book. Her recommendations of Marquez and Weisel and Tolstoy don't seem profound to me. These are books considered firmly within the canon of literature, and that most people of some literary background have read, or at least have a notion of what is contained within their pages. But, at the same time, I can't resist opening her magazine whenever a copy is nearby. The great layout and stunning pictures make for easy reading. However, the December 2006 issue is just a real treat of diet secrets, stupid man intelligence lessons, shopping tips, and adoption! That's right, Oprah's magazine features a full article called, The Hallelujah Chorus. (page 311) The following are excerpts (with my comments interspersed) from Aimee Lee Ball's (she's a prominent "ghost writer") article that I found particularly noteworthy. On paper, these boys from war-ravaged Liberia weren't the world's most adoptable orphans. But if you heard them sing (like angels), or knew that their orphanage back home lay in ruins, or felt the mysterious tug that drew each boy to his proper family, you'd know why every last one of them found a home. On paper? Thank god they weren't paper boys. And to say "proper family"? WTF is that? I didn't know a bunch of white people in Charlotte were these boys' proper families. I thought perhaps their proper families were the parents who were killed in the civil war in Liberia. Upon learning that she'd be meeting a dozen boys from Liberia at her church near Charlotte, NC, Lysa TerKeurst consulted a world map - she vaguely though that Liberia was in South America. . . . While living in an orphanage outside of Monrovia, the boys were chosen for an a cappella choir that would tour the US, raising money to send home. But . . . while the boys were visiting. . . their orphanage was attacked twice. . . the property was ransacked, caregivers beaten, and several hundred children fled into the jungle. The visas of the choirboys in the States were about to expire, and now they were homeless. No comment except that what happened is tragic. I have nothing in my life to compare to that experience. After the postconcert reception . . . Lysa called her husband, "I said something like 'Do we need milk and what would you think of adopting two teenage boys from Liberia?" No, I'd actually like some tofu dogs and peanut butter. Can you pick up two girls from China, while you're at it? Genia Rogers, a 42-year-old nutritional consultant, and her husband Rob . . . after two miscarriages, had "a huge heart for adoption, the process and the opportunity." The Rogers already had two children from adoption in the states. They sound like a good family, and have pretty good understanding of the adoption process. Having the Rogers family validate their adoption plan gave the TerKeursts confidence. . . "I thought all my friends would go 'hip hip hooray' and start planning," says Lysa. But they were all saying, "It's not safe. Have you thought about the security of your girls?" "I started thinking, I love these boys, but they could stand over my bed with a hatchet one night." . . . One grandmother, presented with the idea of having a black teenage grandson, declared, "I don't know how I'll begin to tell people about this." Racism in North Carolina? No way. Doesn't exist. Don't you know that all black males from war torn countries carry hatchets and look to kill white people? Every one of the original 12 choirboys found homes. The adopting families say, with a consistent and almost mystical refrain, that it just sort of became clear who belonged where. Belong and mystical; doesn't that have a nice ring to it? There are now 15 families with 35 Liberian children in the Charlotte area. . . .The adopted children have been learning to speak "American" and some have been home-schooled to facilitate their assimilation. . . . The Liberian boys are now so fully assimilated into their American lives that it seems as if family photos from the time before they arrived are missing something. In fact, the assimilation is so complete that these families have come close to achieving something fairly uncommon in our culture: color blindness. Did you know that Liberians speak English, but that the dialect is different, and the accent is sometimes difficult to understand? I'm so happy that these families are doing everything in their power to fully assimilate these boys into the American way of things. Of course, that's what families were told to do in the 60s and 70s, and I'm pretty sure those of us adopted from that time period would say, "what are you thinking!" And is this writer kidding herself thinking that just because the kid refers to his dad as tall, and therefore thinks that maybe he'll be tall, that the kids and family are color blind? By the mere fact that they are doing this article, indicates that the families are quite aware of color, race, and culture. Come on, this article is a great human interest story. It's the kind of thing I'd want my journalism students to write because they are so wrapped up in their shiny world of money and high school drama (or at least, the ignorant ones are). But in reality, this article is also revealing on another level. Why wouldn't these families have adopted black American children who were from poor neighborhoods? Certainly war and poverty and famine are tough things to overcome. But so are gangs, drug addiction, hunger, poverty, and daily abuse. I don't think these families would react the same way to underprivileged black American children from Charlotte. I also despise the language used, like "belong, mystical, and proper family." End of story there. And here's my last odd thought. Don't these parents know that Liberia was founded by freed American slaves who, in the early 19th century, were looking for a place to call home? Now you have these children living in the very country that they left in order to escape racism and unfair treatment, and expect them to grow up in a white family, in a white neighborhood, in a white conservative state, and not feel any sense of race and color and prejudice? I think the grandmother was right; how do you explain these things to people?

Why I am not blogging like I have in the past

This past month, at my birthday celebration, my mom and dad handed me a card with the following inscription: You will always be our Son. For most sons, this card would have probably sparked memories of long afternoons playing ball with their father, or porch-sitting activities with their mother. But, for those who are adopted, the card signaled something else. It wasn't just the card, it was what my mother also said: "You'll always be our son, no matter what happens, or what you might say or think." I, of course, responded that they were my parents and that I knew this. At the same time, I felt this odd pull of belief, like a lapsed Catholic who suddenly remembers that they were confirmed and hadn't received communion in years. I'd been telling myself for the past few years that finding my birth mother wasn't going to change the relationship I had with my parents. In fact, I figured that despite the unsettling feelings and sometimes argumentative discussions, that this would bring us closer together. Instead, I feel myself getting more frustrated and more resigned at the fact that things with my parents won't change. It is often difficult to make plans with them because they take their time getting ready for the day. I'm not suggesting that my unwillingness to wait a few hours for them to have tea and read the paper is inconsiderate; I'm suggesting that when they tell me they'll be ready to "hang out" informally at 9pm at night, even after I've called them in the afternoon, is atrocious. At these moments I feel like I am not a priority in their life. I know I am, but they show it in very typical materialistic ways. Birthday celebrations, anniversary cards, Christmas gifts, and the weekly phone call. But, they don't make sacrifices in their schedules to accomodate me or Noodle or Didi. There have been times when I've wanted my mother to pick Noodle up from school because of things I had to do, but instead, either Didi or I had to cut out early from work. Early isn't like 9 or 10 am. Early for my mother would be anything before noon. Actually, it's more like 4pm. I know she takes medication for things that can make her sleepy or lethargic, but often times I see this as her blissful state of permanent retirement. Today she complained that her brand new washer and dryer weren't working. This has been her biggest concern for the past few days. It has consumed her so much that she doesn't do anything else except wait for this problem to be fixed. I, on the other hand, am facing a bout of depression like I haven't felt in years. It's gotten to the point that I actually said something to Didi about it. This are my symptoms: An overwhelming sense of helplessness Easiy agitated and irritable moods Insomnia & Lethargy Loss of appetite Now, be certain that I take medication for this, but that it hasn't helped much lately. There are, of course other factors: School has grown difficult with students having emotional needs that come to me to disclose their emotional needs. The Big Man in the front office has suddenly changed his tune about publishing suicide information in the student newspaper, despite my adamant charge that when the student committed suicide we should have said something about the danger signs and access numbers. We just found out a former student was killed in a motorcycle accident. To make matters worse, both she and the student who committed suicide were both friends, and were teammates in multiple sports. My fellow coach has become a harsh critic of the girls, which is causing a rift between the girls and him, and thus leading me to have to internalize these issues. I have been sick. The holidays are always stressful. My parents gave me that weird birthday card. I feel obligated to send Oma something for Christmas, but I'm running out of time. It isn't that I am unhappy with the school. As a unit, the students are incredible. I do this job for my students, who, without them, I probably wouldn't be able to get through the day without a few laughs and jokes. I am unhappy with the sluggishness of the administration to respond to things needed. We are understaffed, and underprepared to deal with issues like this. Which leads me to this final thought. After my birthday, I just felt different. I was a year older, but that never bothers me. What does bother me, is that my parents chose to tell me that I would always be their son. What bothers me is that I already knew this, and have said this to them before. What bothers me is that I know some of my students have parents who are completely absent in their lives, but that I am complaining about my parents. I suddenly feel different about life in general. We are a culture that expects instant satisfaction in life. We have grown accustomed to making things out as simpler than they actually are. As a whole, this American life moves at light speed, and we're just comet dust riding on its tail. Some day, when civilization has collapsed, which I hope it never does, and the first generation of survivors come across our diaries, blogs, and other such things, I hope they say, "What the hell was wrong with these people?" Oh, and I also hope they say, "They voted that idiot into office, twice?"

Asian Power

Time Asia has published their list of 60 years of Asian Heroes. Interesting comic caricatures. My favs on the list are: Ghandi Kurosawa Bruce Lee Dalai Lama Thich Nhat Hanh Maxine Hong Kingston Miyazaki go check out the list yourself.

My Best Friend Avery, XOXO

Like, I so want you to meet my newest BFF! She's totally a QT and loves sports! Her name is Avery, and you can meet her here! What I don't get about her though, is like, she always swears she's so into soccer, but then all her stuff is about basketball. Weird? I don't know, I think she's a lesbian and is just trying to play soccer to meet all the cute guys to make everyone think she's into them. OMG! Whatever, she's so kool! She was, like, adopted from South Korea, and she is like, totally fine with that. I mean, if I was her, I'd prolly totally freak out on my rents. NEway, she also likes animals and is Prez of SGA. What a go-getter. Of course, you know what they say about AZN girls. At least she isn't into anime. That is like, so last year.

Be Seen, Be Heard

Interesting ABC thing.

What Noodle Says

Noodle was remarking how much she liked cookies tonight while Didi was eating her vegan fudge striped delicacies. Noodle suddenly said she liked cookies a lot, but she used the word: COLOSSAL! I don't know where she's heard the word, and you can't always have a reliable 4 1/2 yr old explain the origins of their learning. Either way, Didi and I were both very surprised to hear such an advanced word from her. She's going to be a talker, which is good. She also had a cavity, and did really well at the dentist. She was nervous at first, but enjoyed the experience and now her teeth are great. Um, otherwise, nothing creative today.

Meow

To all my readers and a few of my students who have somehow managed to find my blog....